i'm not gonna be mad. you know, if you go see other people. i actually a) want you to be happy and b) want you to get laid!
i'm not thinking that you are my backup plan. if you think i'm just not aware of my own plans, maybe you are right. what i do know is that i'll have trouble being faithful for the rest of my life. also, i think i have decided that even if OOG and i don't work out, i won't come running back to you. even if i do, that's so far down the road that i can't even picture when that would be. therefore, i think we should both accept that it's going to be a long time before i ever change my mind, if i ever change my mind.
you're my friend first. i love you. but something about the way you love me scares the hell outta me and i don't know why. i can be friends first. or i can have a complicated relationship with you, whatever.
just make sure whoever she is, she's good-looking, smart, not an alcoholic, and appreciates you. i hope she is good enough in bed to meet you up at your level, so she can fully enjoy all you have to offer, and can please you just the same. :) and i hope she's not too demanding, and not irresponsible with money.
We have had several exchanges all day.. and strangely, I'm relieved. It's over. A decision has been reached.. I'm not sitting here all down and crying. I feel free for the first time in my life.
They always say that your first relationship after a divorce never works out. I struggled with that all this time, afraid of those words, but I guess that information is correct..
She actually encouraged me to go out and conquer when I explained how much "interest" there was in OG...and you know what?? I told her that I plan to..
We didn't shut off communication (that I know of at least).. and oddly enough, right when she sent this one to me, I received a reply to an email I sent to an old friend of mine who is a published author; I had asked if she would be willing to help out Delores with some advice.. So I hope she tells me how that goes.... who knows, next year, you may be buying a book authored by the one and only Delores... and within the next few months a few of you lucky ladies might get bedded by the notorious OG.. who knows.
Life After Heaven has officially started. I'm sorry the love story didn't pan out the way some of us hoped but lets see if another one does start sometime, WAY FAR down the road. I have a bunch of conquests to make so we will see how well I can document that.. feelings were easy to put down because that came from the heart and that can pour out pretty easily.. this will be different.. Still need a job, still want to see my kids, still have to survive... so let see.
And you never know.. it could come full circle. I still believe in Fate. I don't think that she and I will lose touch again anytime soon, but I don't know how this "friend" thing will work out. That is completely unexplored territory when it comes to us.
So lets see what Fate has in store next.
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