Existing

I miss her....tremendously. Almost to a distraction. It's not uncommon for me to just look at the computer and wait. I do pry myself away and get my stuff done, but I check as regularly as I can.
Work is a saving grace. I stay off my air card as much as possible because I ALWAYS check my email if I turn it on.

It's been two weeks since I've laid eyes on her (and got to sneak a quick kiss) and I can't help but think of the pain that she was in with the headaches. But she was jobless then, at least now she is employed. She has told me some things I already knew.
I bet she looks even more fantastic now, headache or not, because those kinds of things can weigh on your soul and your spirit.

I'm just existing and trudging through the work day. Thinking about Delores. Thinking of all the possible futures. For some reason, I drive past a lot of large ponds and lakes lately and I wonder if she would like that kind of place.
I think about what it would be like to call her when I felt like it.

To meet for lunch...I wanted so bad to blow off work today and go visit her, but I knew that DH had a good possibility of being in the area. I emailed and told her this today.....

I think about what it would be like to have her come over, or me go to her, and there be no worrying, or escape plan or quickly just walking in the door hoping no one saw.

I think about her laying next to me and not having to say "I need to go"...I think that's the one I think about the most