I had a conversation with Delores the morning after she had stayed the night. It bothered me a lot that I heard what she said and I bit my tongue as best as I could.
She asked if she could go up stairs to get something for a few minutes. I looked at her kinda funny and said "or course, why are you asking?"
It was a big house and all our kids were running around, but I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear.
"Because I'm just used to having to ask"
TO FUCKING GO UPSTAIRS FOR A FEW MINUTES?????
I didn't say that. I walked over and hugged her and told her to go upstairs, take your time, take a shower.
She looked around at the kids playing and running around; an under one, an under two, and an under 5. She looked me in the eyes and seriously asked if it was OK....
OF COURSE IT WAS OK. She was going to be ten feet above me, in the same house. If there was a drastic emergency with her son, I could have her attention in a few seconds. They're kids, they'll be fine. I'm a dad, I can handle kids.
Go. Go take a shower. Go take a nap. Go to the store if you need to. I got this.
She didn't take her time.
My daughter and her son were playing the piano having a good ol' time when she came back down.
That look on her face still bothers me
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of course it bothers you. in some ways i was just being polite. it's not nice to just assume someone else is going to watch your kid. it wasn't like i was asking permission to pee, it was just a nice way of saying, "be right back." i do realize, however, that it was a very mousey way to say so. anyway, i wasn't saying it to bother you, i was just being honest with myself about that whole issue for the first time. i am so insecure and i think i'm of little value. if i go upstairs at home, even if my husband is here, that means nobody will be watching the kid. it has gotten better, but that's basically what i've learned.
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