The Simple Life

I miss active duty more and more these days. It was so easy.

Wake up when you were told.
Put on camouflage clothes and black leather boots with black socks.
Haircut every Sunday
Get done what you were told
Don't get killed.

You knew you could trust the guy behind you. He wasn't going to let you die any more than you would allow him to. There was never a doubt.
You knew that shit would get done. You tell a subordinate to do something, it happened.
Bills were almost nonexistent unless you owned a car.
You knew exactly how much money you were going to get and had a pretty good idea what night you were going to drink it away. You were paid to work out and eat for free.

The sacrifice? Moving all over the world not making much money, and not sure where or if you were going to wake up.

I talked with my brother today about some of this. He suggested joining the Army. I have thought about it for quite a while now. I wouldn't have to go to boot camp, the signing bonuses are getting pretty big as well as the college funds. I could pick something logical to give me a boost in the civilian world, unlike when I was a kid and needed to just get my head screwed on straight.

But I would be away from the kids...and I would sit around and ponder about Delores....and all the coulda, woulda, shoulda's all over again. Only worse now. I would be away without a chance to get that off chance visit. I would wonder if she was wanting to email me, or text, or call, or stop by. That would kill me all over again. Back then, back in the old days, I thought that she hated me, so it was easy to just look at that black and white picture that she gave me. I could think about how fucking stupid I was to screw it all up. I could try be someone that she may be proud to have known should a heroic end happen.

Not anymore...that simple life is no longer simple. Delores would be there bigger than ever. And I would think about my kids, and Delores and if they were ok. I know they would worry.

Nope....no more simple life out there to run to.