Another storm's a comin'

I can feel another onslaught coming. The shit seems to hit the fan in large groups with me. And I can feel it starting. There are always signs. I wish I didn't know sometimes.

My remaining dog is starting to show the signs of her age. She has reached the "normal" limits for her breed. I am now counting the days to where I have to make a quality of life decision.

I have received notices that 4 of my credit cards have been canceled by the provider. Three of them I didn't even know I still had, but my AMEX was canceled due to "to many inquiries" the past 12 months. All I've done is buy a car. They wont even discuss it with me because I don't have an active account.

The apt is STILL is not ready.

Delores is starting to add a signature to her increasingly rarer emails. Not always, but she is obviously trying to separate herself more. Soon there will be none and I will not know when or if I will hear from her again.

I made the mistake of reading her blog today and realized that the gut feeling I got on Sat was justified. I am losing her. I have no way to "fight back". I am getting the feeling that she doesn't want me to. That she wants me to give up.
It's not in my nature though. The kid she knew would; he would move on to easier game. Probably would have a few months ago. Not this man, he will see this through to the end.
I told her I would be here, as long as she'll have me. And until she says it, and MEANS it, I'm sticking around.

And what makes it harder; the signs keep coming. Everything that comes at me tells me to wait. All this weekend, even today, they keep saying "Wait".
I have to, I owe to myself. I just hope I can make it through this next storm