That first day

I don't think I'll ever forget that first day she came over. I was so excited, so nervous.

I was cleaning up the house and had figured she would be here around 10:30. We were both wrong about the drive time and she was early. I was at the store getting some cleaning supplies when my phone rang and an unfamiliar number was on it, but I knew it was her. I didn't expect to hear "we're here"....OH SHIT, and I'm NOT there. I was across the street so of course I just bought what I had and was out of there and back at the house in 5 minutes.

I had butterflies dancing in my stomach as I turned onto my street. My house was the 4th and the street curves to the left so I couldn't see my house until I was next door.

There she was, sitting on MY lawn, playing with her son. She didn't see me (I don't think) until I got closer and rolled down the window to apologize. But she was really there and I was VERY nervous now. The first thing I noticed was that she hadn't changed. Not at all. Well there were two things that had changed, she had "developed" a little more since I had seen her last and I will NEVER complain about that :) .

I wonder what my face looked like? We were both wearing sunglasses at the time, but there was an electricity, a wave that hit. She came in my house, MY HOUSE. and met the dog and saw the piles of beer bottles in the recycling bin.

And I couldn't relax. I had to keep moving because I couldn't believe she was here, and there was something that I needed to say. She even asked if i could sit still and I said no. It was hard. But I was able to give them the grand tour of the place and kinda explain what it looked like when there was furniture in every room.

Luckily, the realization that the crib needed to be re-sized for her son if he needed to take a nap, so I grabbed some tools and we went upstairs to drop the mattress down. That was the distraction I needed to to be able to focus on what I had to say. "I owe you an apology".

I also explained that there was a letter that would have been delivered many years ago if I had not returned from one of my "adventures" that basically said the same thing that I was saying.
I had never forgotten her.

I could finally relax. Her son decided he wanted a nap and didn't even complain about it. According to her, he went down early

And we sat on that couch and just looked at each other. She told me what she had done the past decade and a half. But not stories, more a brief "I did this, I worked here, I lived there". I just looked at her. I couldn't believe it. Not in a hundred billion, million years would I have ever thought that she would be sitting on my couch. I did say, "Not a week has gone by, the past 17 years that I have not thought of you". I meant it

Its an L shaped sectional and rather large and we got to a point that we were each laying on one angle, facing each other at the corner, just inches apart. Trying to make small talk but more, just looking at each other. She glowed. I'm sure we both had huge grins because I know she did. She even cried at one point. And got mad because she doesn't cry. But we were both hit by a HUGE wave at that first meeting. We even talked about that wave and what we were feeling.

Sitting there on the couch, looking at each other, feeling each other, not saying much, but saying everything at the same time, "Are we really going to do this?" and she nodded with a smile and said "Yeah, I think so"

And we did. We ended up upstairs in my room, the first time the two of us had ever been together on a king bed. It was intense and sweaty, and semi vigorous and lasted a good hour and some change. There were "I love you"'s and orgasms and "Oh God"'s. It was ripped right out of some romantic tale of star-crossed lovers that you see in the movies. We were living it.

I remember laying on her with my chin on her chest, looking up in her eyes. "I have ALWAYS loved you". I had. She told me the same.
The feelings had always been there. Why did it take so long to get here? I don't know, but we're here now.

We went back downstairs and had a smoke and talked and looked at each other and kissed and spent time. Just time with each other. It was wonderful. I can feel that day more than I can remember it.

Her son took a five hour nap that day. She had never seen him do that. I have two kids and have never seen that. We checked on him twice.

And as intense as that day was, each visit got more and more so. Emotionally more than physically. Still, right now, as I sit here putting this down, I would want nothing more than to have her presence and be able to look at her and see her smile.