Courage

I was sitting here putting together something about being lovesick when Delores sent me an email that she and DH had been fighting all day about me.. He knows she is still in contact with me, and apparently he wants to strangle me, and may call.

I'll answer.

I'm not being cocky, I'm just not a coward. I'll stand my ground for what I believe in. I won't say things that she doesn't want me to say.. I'll answer his questions that pertain to me, but I won't answer for her, not here, not to him.

I have seen a lot of shit in my life and some time back, a friend had said that they would have been scared to do some of the things I have done; that they didn't have the courage to do it.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to do what must be done in the face of fear.
To be afraid, yet still carry out the mission because it has a greater importance.
Ask any military veteran who has seen action and ask them if they were afraid; if they say no, they are lying. If you hear "sometimes", they were there to long. I'm one of them.

I know he's not going to strangle me, I'll defend myself. I know he wants to. I do. Thats what sucks the most about this...I know how he feels. Or at least I used to know.

I've put my situation behind me and started to look beyond it. It's not worth holding onto that anger. But, of course, I'm divorced and need to move past it. It's been nearly a year and I need to plan a 1st birthday party with Ex