I AM FUCKING PISSED

I have been treated bad in my life. I have been beaten down, I have been spit on, I have been called names.
I have had my wife tell me that she didn't know if I was the father of my one month old son.

Did I call her names? Yes I did....at times.. like an irrational argument over who got the clock.
Did I make her do stuff?? Yes I did... when she stopped nursing my son...I stopped making her dinner (I actually stopped putting it on the plate, and she had to get up and get it herself)

Did I tell anyone? Yes..three people (before we got officially divorced) My best friend (BFF) of 30+ yrs (He had moved 500 miles away by then), my brother, and one trusted neighbor (I needed local support) That was it.

For 5 months, that was all that knew. Wait... I did tell my boss at the time because my behavior had to be explained....but even they didn't know for weeks. Except my BFF , He found out the day after I did, at a friends wedding. There I had the pleasure of explaining why Ex and the new baby weren't there.....to everyone. "she's tired and worn out" no one thought anything of it. I carried it on all night...No one knew except BFF and he followed me home after dropping off his wife at his moms house. I held it together and didn't let it out.........
WTF DELORES????WHY THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE THIS?????????