Who has what right

Does DH have the right to hate me? Sure. I don't blame him. I've been there.

Does he have the right to publicly humiliate his wife? That is up for debate, but I am of the mindset of NO.

I kept quiet about what Ex did to me because I believed at the time that I could convince her that our marriage could be saved. Now, I know that it was doomed from the start. There really wasn't anything to try for. Our kids would have grown up in a fully dysfunctional household and would end up pretty fucked as adults.

I cannot imagine, not at all, how DH can expect to "save" his marriage to Delores now that he has taken the "right" to not only intentionally humiliate her, but tell a large group of people that they interact with on a regular basis. "Normalcy" will not return. It can't. Just the knowledge of the affair will fuck with his head. Now, he has a group of people who's heads will be fucked with too.

She's supposed to attend holiday's and parties with everyone looking at her and whispering?

What about going out to dinner and the young, handsome waiter flashes her a flirtatious smile? They do that. And she is a VERY attractive woman. How would he handle that?

What about them being out somewhere together and they bump into an old co-worker of hers, or a neighbor, who happens to be a guy? I bet she wouldn't be allowed to even talk to him. Much less the usual hug that precedes the catch up conversation.

What about even going to the bathroom in a large crowded bar? I bet that will not be allowed without an escort. Especially since he knows I was at one that they were both at. Regardless of the fact that she didn't know I was there.

He's not going to be able to do it with the knowledge he has now, because he couldn't do it when he didn't have it.

If she doesn't see it now, I don't what I could do to help, because there is NO WAY it is going to work out now. No way. Save their marriage? I think he just put the final nail in it's coffin